Sunday, April 27, 2008


I'm really not a gloom and doom kind of person, but when it comes to my kids I can quickly list off about 50 things that I've done wrong in raising them so far, and they're only 7 and 10!   I have so many things that I wish I had done differently, wish I had done, and wish I hadn't done.  I worry about how they are going to turn out, and if little things I see now are going to manifest into major issues later.  I wonder if homeschooling them is helping or hurting.  I just really want to see them turn out okay, and wonder if I'm doing what I'm supposed to as a mom to help that to happen.
All too often I see things that give me cause to ask all those questions.  They're squabbling too much.  They're not treating their dad and me the way I think they should, at least not all ofthe time. They're this and that.  If someone followed me with a figurative clipboard like I do with them at times, I'd hate to see the notes!!
Well, we had a glimmer moment the other day.  We had a glimmer of hope, of promise, a glimpse into the good stuff going on inside of their heads and hearts.  Yeah!!
The kiddos and I were walking to the little corner store. They had coins jingling in their pockets, and were rattling off all of the candy that they were going to be able to buy with their quarters.  Exciting stuff!! The five blocks probably seemed like an eternity to the girls, since they had to slow down for our little foster two year old, but they were troopers, and happily, albeit a little impatiently, they plodded along to the store. 
We were one block from the store when we saw a young man with Down syndrome walking towards us.  I said hello, the girls smiled, and we kept on going.  Then, we heard a noise and turned to see the young man lying in the road.  He had tripped in one of upstate New York's famous potholes while crossing the street, and lay with his ankle twisted, looking quite uncomfortable.  I saw the girls glance at the store and glance at me.  I braced myself for fussing about getting to the store, but went to the young man and helped him to the curb, checking to see if he was okay.  We called his mom for a ride, and stayed with him for a little bit to be sure he was okay, and you know what, never once did I hear a peep about getting to the store.  No one whined, fussed, or even said a word!!  My girls stood with me in helping someone else, and I was able to catch a glimmer.  My girls delayed their own gratification for the sake of another, one who was not going to do anything for us in return, and I saw a glimmer.  I saw a glimmer of hope and of good, and I was able to exhale.  It's sinking in....  Things are going to be okay :).